Damn It! My Little Brothers Trying to Follow Me to School Again
Cartman: How come up everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?
Cartman: Screw you guys, I'thousand going dwelling.
[Wendy has just given Stan a note]
Kyle: What does the note say?
Stan: Holy Crap! It says she wants to encounter me at Stark'due south Swimming after school!
Kyle: Whoa! Maybe y'all can kiss her.
Cartman: Or slip her the tongue!
Kenny McCormick: [deadened] Or y'all could slide your finger up her pussy!
Stan: What? How practice you know she has a true cat- oh.
[Kenny laughs]
Cartman: I'm not fatty, I'k large boned!
Kyle: [Kyle's brother Ike is beingness kidnapped by the aliens] We accept to do something!
Stan: Well, we can't practise anything for now... That fat bitch won't allow us!
Mrs. Crabtree: [shouts] What did you say?
Stan: I-I said that rabbits consume lettuce!
Mrs. Crabtree: Oh... Well yes, they certainly do...
Cartman: Okay, y'all guys, this joke has gone far plenty! At that place were no aliens! They didn't give me an anal probe and they can't control my listen!
[suddenly an alien spaceship zaps him and he starts to sing]
Cartman: I love to singa / About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a / I love to singa / Nigh a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a / Anything with a swinga to an I beloved you-a / I dearest to, I love to sing.
Kyle: Sorry about your donkey!
Cartman: Goddamn information technology, they didn't do anything to my ass! It was just a dream!
Kyle: Why are you walking so funny, Cartman?
Cartman: Shut upwards!
Kyle: Okay Cartman, we got out of school. You tin can cease farting fire now.
Eric Cartman: I dreamed I was standing out in a field, and at that place was this huge satellite dish stickin' out of my butt. And there were hundreds of cows and aliens, and and so I went upwardly on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.
Stan: That wasn't a dream, Cartman. That actually happened.
Eric Cartman: Oh, correct. Why don't I take pinkeye, then?
Kyle: Cartman, you do have pinkeye.
[last lines]
Eric Cartman: Oh, son of a b - - .
[first lines]
Cartman,Stan,Kyle,Kenny: [singing] School days, school days / honey erstwhile golden rule...
Kyle: Aww, dammit! My picayune brother'due south trying to follow me to school again!
Ike: Eastward bonanner!
Kyle: Ike, you tin't come to school with me!
Cartman: Yeah, get dwelling you piffling dildo!
Kyle: Dude! Don't telephone call my blood brother a dildo!
Stan: What's a dildo?
Kyle: I don't know. And I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either!
Cartman: I know what it ways!
Kyle: Well, what?
Cartman: [pause] I'grand non telling you!
Stan: What's a dildo, Kenny?
[Kenny mumbles through his snow suit, then Cartman and Stan express mirth]
[Wendy has just given Stan a note]
Kyle: What does the notation say?
Stan: Holy Crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school!
Kyle: Whoa. Maybe yous can kiss her.
Cartman: Or slip her the tongue!
Kenny McCormick: [deadened] Or expect at the true cat on her feet, and so touch her!
Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat?
Kenny McCormick: [Kenny laughs; the others get it and join in]
Cartman: Somebody's baking brownies.
[Addressing an conflicting spacecraft]
Chef: Hey, down here. We are ready for your wisdom. And you only got twenty minutes before Sanford and Son is on.
[Investigating a cattle mutilation]
Officer Barbrady: This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time.
Farmer: People's been saying they've been seeing UFO'south around.
Officer Barbrady: UFO'due south? Ha.
Farmer: Yeah, and black army, CIA helicopters and trucks.
Officeholder Barbrady: That is the silliest thing I've always heard
[black helicopters wing overhead]
Farmer: What was that?
Officeholder Barbrady: That, that was a pigeon.
Cartman: Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaburger.
Stan: Close upwardly, fat ass!
Kyle: Dude, what does the notation say?
Stan: [glances at it] Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond afterwards school.
[look of wonder on his face]
Kyle: Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her.
Cartman: Or sideslip her the tongue.
Kenny: [muffled] Or look at the true cat on her feet, and then touch her.
Stan: What? How do you know she has a true cat?
[Kenny waits to run across if the others got the message, then laughs; the remainder follow, realizing what Kenny meant]
Cartman: [after seeing a crop circumvolve on TV that looks similar him] Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck.
Stan: Go ahead, Kyle; ask them for your infant blood brother back.
Kyle: Visitors... This morning you took my little brother, Ike. He'southward the little freckled child that looks like a football game. At first, I was happy you lot took him away, merely I've learned something today... That having a little blood brother is a pretty special matter.
Stan: Yeah.
Kyle: Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors... I'1000 just a kid all lone in this crazy world, only if you lot could find it in your hearts or any you have, to give my brother back to me, it certain would make my life brighter again...
Stan: That was beautiful, dude.
Kyle: Did it piece of work?
Stan: No, they're leaving.
Kyle: Hey, y'all scrawny-donkey ********! What the **** is wrong with you? You must exist some kind of ******* ******* to be able to ignore a crying child!
Stan: Whoa, dude!
Kyle: You know what you ******* similar? You like to **** and **** and **** and **** and **** and ****!
Stan: Hey, Wendy. What'south a ****?
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0394893/quotes/qt0509656?mode=desktop&ref_=m_ft_dsk
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